My favourite questions #4

Today’s question is one to ask when you’re stuck in a thought loop or fixated on an obstacle in front of you.

How is this response serving me?

I find asking this question most useful when something has thrown me off course, irritated or angered me. I can often dwell on the negative when I have no control over the thing that’s happened or can’t change the outcome. Learning to ask this question helps to give me a reality check, allows me to let go of thoughts that aren’t helping me and start to refocus on something else.

On my way out of the door to co-working the bus I was due to catch hurtled past me. I was annoyed I’d missed it, then even more annoyed that the next one was significantly delayed. It wasn’t the start I wanted. I felt the rage inside me grow. I asked myself this question and by the time the next bus arrived I’d let it go. Doing this allowed me to reset and mentally prepare for the day ahead. This example may seem trivial but small things like this, left unchecked, can really throw my whole day out of whack.

Remember, we have a choice in how we respond. If something isn’t making us feel good, we can choose a different response. This question can help us to identify when we need to choose again.

Featured image by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash

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This post originally appeared in my newsletter, Gathered Thoughts.

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about emma

I am a coach and facilitator helping people to pause, reflect and make conscious choices about what comes next. In my writing I explore themes of personal development, reflective practice and what it means to live well.